In my class I thought most of the paragraphs were very well written. As a class, I think the transition sentences are what needed to be worked on the most. It was easy to not have a good transition or to skip that sentence all together. Most of the papers that were read, there was somebody saying "I think you could have used some stronger transitions." Also, sometimes commentary would turn a little bit into plot summary, so instead of giving your own opinions, people might be just restating what happened in the book. So as a class I think those are some things we could work on.
For my next paragraph I need to work on making sure everything is clear and nothing is confusing. My topic sentence lead people in one way but everything else went in a different way, so I think I need to make sure everything fits. I could also work on using better vocabulary, all my word choice was words I would use to talk, there were no words suggesting high diction, it was all very average. I could also make my transitions smoother, to help the paragraph flow more easily and have all the topics form together, but still be distinguishable.
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